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To love one another

February comes, and the stores start trying to market things which they say will show our loved ones that we care about them. Be it flowers or candy, spending money is supposed to prove our love.

But love isn't meant to be shown one day or even one month out of the year. As the second greatest commandment, "Love one another", thoughts of love should be on our minds daily.

Love is a choice, and it's easy to choose to love our spouse when they're being, well, lovable. But true love denies ones self and stays steady even when the easier path isn't one of love.

If I'm going to love my husband, I need to know how God defines love. On my wedding day, I vowed obey my husband, because obedience is a sign of love. We obey our heavenly Father out of love (John 14:21 "He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me."). 

The frequently cited passage about love from the New Testament comes from 1 Corinthians 13. When we got married, a friend of mine gave us this passage, framed, for hanging on our wall. It hangs there, year after year, and I've spent many hours reading the words and pondering my actions in light of them. And you know what? It works for me.

Love suffers long and is kind... Patience. Kindness. So many times I don't feel like having patience, yet this passage attacks that problem right away.  

...love does not envy... Jealousy. A woman can think of a hundred things to be envious of, but envy will breed bitterness. My best solution? Get busy and keep loving!

Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up... Oh, how many times I want to say, "See?! I was right." Love doesn't care about "right", it cares about kindness and patience and selflessness. Pride is self-love, and it will battle truly loving your spouse. 

...does not behave rudely, does not seek its own... Gentleness rather than jesting, something I had to practice remembering. When I jokingly laugh at or belittle someone else, especially my husband, it forms a "rough" demeanor rather than conveying gentleness.

...is not provoked, thinks no evil... Ah, yes. The ever-tempting "I'm sure he meant..." or "How could he NOT notice?!" Think good thoughts. Think the best of your husband. You'll surprise him, and you'll probably surprise yourself, too.

...does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth... Do not be glad when your husband fails, even when you're tempted to start getting "puffed up" because of it. Rejoice in the truth in all situations and DON'T gossip, even to your husband. 

...bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Hopes all things? Bears all things? Endures all things? Believes all things? "My husband surely isn't worthy of perfect love like that," you say. Why should we?? Because God first loved us.  

For practical, down-to-earth advice on making your marriage a blissful one, I recommend this book.

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